In the comments on yesterday's post, which contains the gamer survey Sctrz and I composed, Chris brought up a pet peeve of his. He doesn't like it when men refer to to their spouses as "brides." While he can of course further clarify if he desires, I think the gist of his point is this, "[S]he no doubt deserves to be more than 'a bride.'" I certainly respect Chris and his opinion, but let me tell you why I refer to Sctrz as "my lovely bride."
In our American culture and others (without going into the current politics of marriage), the Bride is at the center of the wedding. On that day, more than any other, she is a princess, and the focus of everyone there. Even the Groom is already a fixture in the ceremonial hall when the Bride makes her grand entrance. Plus, the full term is "bridegroom," he is there to attend to her.
When I was younger, and attended church with far more regularity than I do now, a leader gave a sermon in which he explained why he still referred to his wife of many years as his bride. It reminded him of the promises they made to each other on that special day so long ago. And it also let her know her that he remembered those promises. It is a lesson I took to heart long before I was ever married. Whenever she reads my posts, I want Sctrz to be reminded of our special day, and the promises I made to her, promises that we made together.
It is neither about putting her on a pedestal nor about being "The Man of the house." We are equal partners in our marriage. I respect her, and value her opinion; though I am hard-headed, not very good at listening. To borrow a now trite, but very true, phrase, she completes me.
While long-time readers of this blog—and my followers on Twitter—may know who Sctrz is, I am ever mindful of newcomers who may say to themselves, "Who the heck is this Sctrz person? And why does rowan (not my real name, any more than Sctrz is hers) keep referring to this person?"
Sctrz is many things. She is my gaming partner, my partner in crime, my lover, my confidant, my best friend. She is a manager, a dog lover, a student, a nerd, a mother, a breadwinner, a lover of sunflowers, a gamer, a speed demon. But now and for as long as she wants to me, I will think of her as my lovely bride.